I drink a lot, so chances are, you are probably bothering me when it's 7:30 am and I'm still adjusting my hangover to deal with the florescent lights of the workplace.
Here are some things you should not be doing in the morning:
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| This is you. |
I'm perfectly fine holding a light conversation in the morning as long as I've had a few sips of coffee. What I'm not trying to do is sit like a duck in a proverbial barrel while you talk AT me with an extended diatribe about your general likes and dislikes. Can this wait? I have all day to feel like a victim of ear rape; must it be first thing in the morning?
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| Too early for this. |
I am not a human being before 9 am, so it's safe to assume that I'm going to agree to pretty much any plan you make to shut you up, whether I have any intention of following through with said plan or not. I will forget to bake cookies for your daughter's birthday and show up for your boyfriend's funeral. I'm tired.
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| Too early to deal with this. ^ |
I have zero sympathy, empathy, or ability to emotionally relate to you in the morning. I am a shell - a husk - of a person with all the compassion of a bag of pencils. Now is not a good time to tell me anything that doesn't relate to me going to the fuck back to bed.
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| Shhh...ut the fuck up. |
Unless it's "Can I get you another cup of coffee?" or, "Would you like the day off?" I do not have the mental capacity to think up a response relevant enough that it makes me look like I'm paying attention. That will have to wait until after lunch, until I can better pretend I just heard anything you just said.
In summary, if you are a morning person, I hate you. Please realize you are in the minority and are not interesting enough to stimulate my brain cells into a coherent state.
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