Haiku Humpday, 3rd ed.

Welcome to the third edition of our installment series, Haiku Humpday. This is the time when we raise the intellectual level of our blog by writing drink-y poetry. Enjoy.

In-laws' for Christmas.

They're non-drinkers... I've got the

Sparklin' Cider Blues.

- Miss Lizzie

New Years Eve Party

Go out and buy a new dress.

Too fat from Christmas. :(

- Heather

Holiday Cocktail Week - Day 3

Good Morning, lovely fan base!


I hope you got a chance to try out some of our Unexpected Yuletide Treats yesterday. I sure added a few "to-drink" items to my holiday list! In the spirit of being absolutely exhausted with all these holiday goings-on, today's theme is Things To Do With Bailey's. (Bailey's reminds me of coffee...) 

Minty Mistletoe

-2 oz. Baileys Original Irish Cream

-.25 oz. Rumple Minze

Directions

Add Baileys Original Irish Cream and Rumple Minze.

Shake with ice and strain into martini glass.

Cherry Café

-1.5 oz. Baileys Coffee Irish Cream

-1 oz. Captain Morgan Original Spiced

-1 dash(es) maraschino cherry juice

-1 tablespoon(s) cinnamon

-1 tablespoon(s) sugar

Directions

Rim martini glass with cinnamon and sugar.

Then drizzle cherry juice in the glass to layer.

Shake Baileys and Captain Morgan with ice, strain, enjoy.

Frozen Russian

-1 oz. Baileys Original Irish Cream

-.25 oz. Smirnoff No. 21 Vodka

-.25 oz. Godiva Chocolate Liqueur

-2 scoop(s) vanilla ice cream

Directions

Add Baileys Original Irish Cream, Smirnoff No.21 Vodka, and Godiva Original Liqueur.

Add vanilla ice cream, blend, and serve in hurricane glass.

Hot Coco Bay

-1 oz. Baileys Original Irish Cream

-1 oz. Captain Morgan Parrot Bay Coconut

-1 oz. hot chocolate

Directions

Add Baileys Original Irish Cream and Captain Morgan Parrot Bay Coconut Rum, and hot chocolate.

Shake and pour into glass.

Corrected Coffee

-2 oz. Baileys Coffee Irish Cream

-0.5 oz. Romana Sambuca

Directions

Build in a snifter and garnish with 3 coffee beans.

Haiku Humpday, 2nd ed.

Welcome to the second edition of our installment series, Haiku Humpday. This is the time when we raise the intellectual level of our blog by writing drink-y poetry. Enjoy.

Christmas cocktail time!
Hear your family argue
Through a drunken haze.
- Miss Lizzie

Careful with presents!
Never, ever shake the box.
Booze could be inside.
- Heather

Holiday Cocktail Week - Day 2

Good morning, lovelies.

I sure hope you enjoyed yesterday's Traditional Cocktails. Maybe you've even had a chance to try one...? If so, let us know what you thought in the comments! The theme for today's libations is Unexpected Yuletide Treats.

Angel’s Delight

-1 oz cream

-3/4 oz triple sec

-3/4 oz gin

-2-3 dashes grenadine

Directions:

Pour the ingredients into a shaker with ice cubes.

Shake well.

Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

Dreaming of Zen

-1 oz Zen Green Tea Liqueur

-1/2 oz Midori Melon Liqueur

-3 oz mango juice

-white pepper

-2 oz cream

-mint leaves for garnish

-grated nutmeg for garnish

Directions:

Pour the ingredients into cocktail shaker filled with ice.

Shake well.

Strain into a Champagne flute.

Garnish with a mint leaves and a dash of nutmeg.

Grinch

-2 oz Midori

-1/2 oz lemon juice

-1 tsp simple syrup

-maraschino cherry for garnish

Directions:

Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice.

Shake well.

Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

The Holiday Hopper

-1 oz Midori melon liqueur

-1/2 oz green creme de menthe

-1/2 oz white creme de cacao

-2 oz half and half

-mint leaves for garnish

-raspberry for garnish

Directions:

Pour the ingredients into cocktail shaker filled with ice.

Shake well.

Strain into a cocktail glass.

Garnish with a mint leaves and a raspberry.

La Vie en Rouge

-1 1/2 oz. Grand Marnier

-1 1/2 oz. cranberry juice

-1/2 oz. fresh lemon juice

-1/2 oz. simple syrup

-Fresh rosemary needles

Directions:

In a tall mixing glass, muddle 10-12 rosemary needles lightly with simple syrup.

Add remaining ingredients then add ice and shake vigorously.

Strain over fresh ice into a rocks glass with ice.

Garnish with a rosemary sprig.

Don't forget to visit us at drunkathome.com over the holidays! You'll probably be half-drunk and fully-bored, so you might as well.

It's the Week Before Xmas!

That's right!! Last chance for holiday shopping and party preparation. I'm so not ready.

So in celebration of my unpreparedness, we'll be doing 5 days of holiday cocktails!! Today's theme is Traditional Drinks.Here are a few fabulous recipes for classic cocktails you can serve up at your festivus get-together:

Candy Cane

-3/4 oz peppermint schnapps

-3/4 oz creme de cacao

-1/4 oz grenadine syrup

-half-and-half

-7-Up® soda

Directions

In highball glass filled with ice, combine peppermint schnapps, white creme de cacao & grenadine. Fill glass with half-and-half. Top with 7-up. Garnish with a small candycane or filbert nuts. Great for the Holidays!

Cranberry Bog

-4 ounces champagne

-1 ounce cranberry juice

-Whole cranberries, for garnish

-Mint leaves, for garnish

Directions

Combine champagne and cranberry juice in a champagne flute. Drop a few whole cranberries in the glass and garnish with mint leaves.

Hard Cider Punch

-1 cup hot water

-1/4 cup granulated sugar

-1/4 cup finely chopped fresh ginger

-7 whole cloves

-1 stick cinnamon

-1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

-1 quart hard cider

-1/2 cup applejack

-1/2 cup brandy

-8 slices Gala, Braeburn, or Red Delicious apple

Directions

Place the hot water in a small stainless steel saucepan and add the sugar, ginger, cloves, cinnamon and nutmeg to the pan. Bring to a boil, place a lid over the saucepan and reduce to a simmer. Continue to simmer until the flavors have married, about 20 minutes. Remove from the heat, strain through a fine-mesh sieve into a non-reactive bowl and allow to cool. Once cool, add the cider, applejack and brandy to the bowl. Stir to mix well and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, and up to 5 days. Serve in a small punch bowl with an ice mold, if desired, and garnish each glass with an apple slice.

White Chocolate Eggnog

-1 quart eggnog

-1/2 cup white rum (recommended: Myer's Platinum)

-1/2 cup white chocolate liqueur

-1 cup whipped topping

-Grated white chocolate, for garnish

-Pumpkin pie spice, for garnish

Directions

In a punch bowl, combine the egg nog, rum, and white chocolate liqueur. When you are ready to serve, whisk the egg nog to make it frothy and pour the mixture into cups. Place 1 heaping tablespoon of the whipped topping into each cup. Garnish each with the grated white chocolate and a sprinkling of pumpkin pie spice.

Hot Buttered Rum

-2/3 cup packed dark brown sugar

-1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature

-1/4 cup honey

-1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

-1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg

-1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

-Pinch salt

-3/4 cup spiced rum

-2 cups boiling water

-4 sticks cinnamon, for garnish

Directions

Using an electric mixer, beat the brown sugar, butter, honey, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and salt in a medium bowl until blended and smooth. Transfer the mixture to a 4-cup (or larger) measuring cup. Add the rum and then 2 cups of boiling water. Stir until the butter mixture dissolves. Divide the buttered rum among 4 mugs. Garnish with the cinnamon sticks and serve.

Haiku Humpday

In a new installment series, we will raise the intellectual level of our drinky blog by writing poetry for you.

We're classy like that.

Oh, the gummi bears!
They are drowning, please help them!
Wait - it’s vodka. Yum.

- Miss Lizzie

Eggnog: What are you?

You are neither egg, nor nog.

Sure are tasty though.

- Heather

Drunken Bears - Of the Gummy Variety.

My partner in crime and I usually meet up once a week for drinking, gossip, and food (the good life, in other words).

Imagine my supreme delight when she showed up last week with engorged gummy bears swimming in a lake of vodka. Joy!

The recipe is fairly simple:

1. Put gummy bears in a container.
2. Pour vodka (we thought that Smirnoff's Fluffed Marshmallow Vodka tasted the best) all over the bears.
3. Let sit 24 hours.
4. Eat.

The texture is a bit shocking - slimy on the outside, still kind of gummy-bear-like on the inside. BUT, they are so tasty and 2 of them seem to be the equivalent of a shot. For the full effect, we have captured my reaction to eating vodka bears for the first time:

DRUNKEN GUMMY BEARS WILL FOREVER BE IN MY HEART.

Skittles - Good; Vodka - Great; Skittles + Vodka? YES PLEASE.

OMGosh! A thing! A thing I have to tell you about!!

SKITTLES VODKA.

That's right,

Magic.

I think it's just that simple...Add skittles to vodka and viola! Drunken rainbow. Here's the recipe:

1. You need a minimum of 180 individual skittles of each color. Of course, you can always add more to make the vodka more flavorful, but 2 450g bags ought to do the trick.

2. While it might be tempting to use a crappy, cheap vodka to try this out on, the result is vodka that ends up tasting like cold medicine. A better vodka is going to taste better, no matter what you do to it. A 750ml bottle should get you where you're going. You'll need 5 bottles, one for each color.

3. Take the label off the bottles so you can observe the dissolving process. You can even slap your own labels on once you're done!

4. Sort your skittles into different bowls by color.

5. Pour about 1/8 of the bottle of vodka into a reserve container. You'll need to do this for each bottle.

6. Add your skittles to each bottle by color.

7. Once the skittles have been added, top off each bottle that that reserve you set aside earlier. There will be a bit left over so make yourself a drink.

8. Shake each of the bottles a bit to get the dissolving process going.

9. You would think it would take a while for the skittles to dissolve, but they're usually done in about 24-48 hours.

10. Now that the skittles are pretty much dissolved, you need to filter out the white left-over stuff (the filler in the candy, which is NOT tasty, for the record.). The best way is to put some paper towels into a strainer and pour the vodka in bit by bit, obviously with something under the filter to catch it. Like a nice big plastic bowl or something. This takes a minute and the stuff left over is pretty gross, but it's totally worth it.

11. Pour the filtered liquor back into the bottle and enjoy! Word on the street is that green tastes the best, being the most like the original skittle and red tastes the worst, a bit like cough-syrup.

I CAN'T WAIT TO TRY THIS!!!!

And if it does this to my hair, I'm gonna be psyched:

5 Drunks Who Will Ruin Your Night

Everyone has been out drinking with one of these. You spend endless time fantasizing how much fun you are going to have tonight while tediously getting ready then one of your friends texts you, "Is it ok if _____ comes too?" Shit.

Thinking about leaving you there.

1. Pukes by 10:30

Really? I know we're all in a rush to have fun but certainly anyone could have predicted that a kamikaze row of shots as soon as we got in the door was not a good idea.

My favorite part is the non-tan hairline.

2. Punches bartender

Also known as the aggressive drunk. "Bros" are the most common offenders, frequently getting into arguments about whose fake tan looks less orange.

Now we don't want to be seen with you.

3. Cries because everything is the WORST

Life sucks. For pretty much everyone - hence, why we're all out trying to have a good time. You ruined it.

Not using good judgement.

4. Leaves with stranger

At least be considerate if you're going to be a whore. Tell your friends you're leaving before they panic you've been left or kidnapped. Also, we'll then be able to give a description to the police when you are murder-raped.

This is a "boys night" of a different color.

5. Brings significant other to girls/boys night out

If it's girls/boys night out, don't drag your lame boyfriend/bitchy girlfriend. You would think the term "Girls/Boys night out" would be enough to imply we don't like him/her.

Have you been to drunkathome.com recently?? You should visit! Things happen there!!

4 Places to be, or Not to be, Drunk.

You might be a drink-y person wondering, "Hey! How do I network with other people who share my interests? Like drinking?" In an effort to find you some drinking buddies, here are some common places you can find, and socialize with, other lushes:

1. Bars
Pretty much a given. Alcohol is known to live here.

2. Sporting events
The best place to find drunk men, who are also loud.

3. The sidewalk
Best place to find catatonic drunks. They make the best listeners.

4. Holiday shopping
This might shock you fellas, but there is an astounding number of women who won't go xmas shopping without getting completely shnockered beforehand. Why do you think Black Friday starts at midnight and ends with someone getting trampled to death?





Now that you know where to find some drink-y friends, it should also be noted that there are several places you should NOT be a drunk person trying to hang out with other drunk people:

1. Church
Chugging the communal wine is not a good way to make friends.

2. Daycare
It is generally frowned upon to slur obscenities to children.

3. In the car
Car accidents are not a good networking tool.

4. Court
It is hard to plead not guilty with liquor on your breath.

4 Things You Should Not Do Before 9AM

I am not a morning person.

I drink a lot, so chances are, you are probably bothering me when it's 7:30 am and I'm still adjusting my hangover to deal with the florescent lights of the workplace.

Here are some things you should not be doing in the morning:

This is you.

1. Talking excessively. 
I'm perfectly fine holding a light conversation in the morning as long as I've had a few sips of coffee. What I'm not trying to do is sit like a duck in a proverbial barrel while you talk AT me with an extended diatribe about your general likes and dislikes. Can this wait? I have all day to feel like a victim of ear rape; must it be first thing in the morning?

Too early for this.

2. Making plans.
I am not a human being before 9 am, so it's safe to assume that I'm going to agree to pretty much any plan you make to shut you up, whether I have any intention of following through with said plan or not. I will forget to bake cookies for your daughter's birthday and show up for your boyfriend's funeral. I'm tired.

Too early to deal with this. ^

3. Getting emotional.
I have zero sympathy, empathy, or ability to emotionally relate to you in the morning. I am a shell - a husk - of a person with all the compassion of a bag of pencils. Now is not a good time to tell me anything that doesn't relate to me going to the fuck back to bed.

Shhh...ut the fuck up.

4. Asking questions.
Unless it's "Can I get you another cup of coffee?" or, "Would you like the day off?" I do not have the mental capacity to think up a response relevant enough that it makes me look like I'm paying attention. That will have to wait until after lunch, until I can better pretend I just heard anything you just said.


In summary, if you are a morning person, I hate you. Please realize you are in the minority and are not interesting enough to stimulate my brain cells into a coherent state.